i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
accomplished twins. life is a go
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
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