Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
