I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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