i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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