i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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