At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Dignity is for republicans.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
