Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
