how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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