The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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