you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
