she woke up with a sticky ear
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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