Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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