Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
