Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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