just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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