You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Small penises have feelings too.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
