I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
