and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Randomize