Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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