dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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