Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
