he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
