and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Randomize
