Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
