ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
