some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Randomize
