pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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