I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
handjob tips. give me some.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
