i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
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