i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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