To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize