i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
