Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
