ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Randomize
