8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
