Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
