i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
