okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
