No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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