I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
