she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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