Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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