glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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