I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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