She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Randomize
