Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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