Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
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you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
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You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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