I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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