How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
just tell him i said nine months
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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