nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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