she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
