You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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