if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize