***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
