I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
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