Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
