he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
you never un-have a 4some
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
